Some days I am simply overwhelmed with how much pressure I put on myself to be the perfect mom. To not need help, to keep it together, to not lose it and scream, to have all their activities planned, to feed them well- balanced meals, to pour into them and fill them with love and positivity, and most of all...look like I have it all together each step of the way.
As a mom, I think we are super hero's. We take on everyone's needs and wants and as a result, we put ourselves last. Legit, my job starts the second my feet hit my bedroom floor first thing in the morning. The kids want milk, they want a snack, Addison has to poop and needs her bum wiped, Austin wants a snuggle {which I hate ever passing up}, the laundry needs to be moved to the dryer, the dishwasher needs to be unloaded, Logan needs to go outside, I want 15 minutes in silence to do my devotional...the list goes on and on. I know you guys are with me
My kids get 98% percent of me. Stephen gets the other percent and I tend to give myself whatever is left over. I'm really good at telling other moms that its okay to take a break. To get a babysitter to run errands or go to a movie. Or to be selfish when you can. But for some reason, at my core, I find myself feeling guilty for wanting to read a book, or go on vacation without my kids, or for wanting a babysitter to come over at times so for once I don't have to do the dinner, bath, & bedtime struggle.
Some days, I truly want to wake up slowly. To take my time getting out of bed and to not be at someone's beck and call before I even get my bra on. Sometimes, I really do just want to Netflix and chill all day. Other days, I wish it was so easy to just "pop into the grocery store".
People used to tell me all the time that "the days are long, but the years are short". Well isn't that the truth?! I find most days by lunchtime, I am simply in survival mode.
It is truly a struggle to be on top of my mom game when I'm feeling so overwhelmed or stressed out or needing a break. I think Stephen see's it and I think my babies feel it. It's important for me to get a break and I hope you other mama's are totally okay with taking a break too! I find it really important for me to get to the gym at least 4 days a week. Sometimes, I go first thing in the morning so that Stephen can have alone time with Addison and Austin. Sometimes, I take the kids with me and utilize the childcare...even if I just stand on the treadmill and flip through a People magazine. I also try to get out by myself at least once a week to truly do something to fill me up. Whether that is lunch with a girlfriend or a matinee all by myself. I also try to make sure to have "quiet time" each day. When Austin naps, I send Addison to her room to read or play and then I take 30 mins to myself to get my brain back in order to fight the afternoon. The other thing that we try to do every week is to have a date night. Stephen and I realized this year that we pour so much into our beautiful children that our marriage was suffering because of it. We were so busy pouring into our kids that we forgot how important it is to pour into each other.
I know my babies are a blessing. I know my marriage is a blessing. I know our life is a blessing. When I do go away for work and I walk back through my front door to see my babies smiling faces, its all worth it. Their love fills me up in ways I cannot express. Their little voices, sweet hugs, kisses, and joy fill my heart beyond all else. Being a parent is the most rewarding job that I will ever have. Even though its a difficult one at times.
That's me: living in struggle-city, mom-ville. Will you join me?
XoXo,
DeAnna